CH.AG: Part Three

This deserves it's own banner. Welcome to Flopgate '10, everybody. Over the past few days most of my posts have been directed at Christina Aguilera. Well the reason is it was pretty much a Tyra Banks situation: We were all rooting for her. And then she gives us this generic single Not Myself Tonight. Like we've never heard that before. Furthermore, when images and previews for the single begin to surface, it becomes apparent how desperate she is. I know, I know, Lady Gaga does this kind of stuff too, but one thing that separates the two is that CH.AG has a child. This is completely inappropriate. What the hell are you going to do when you're child is a teenager? More like what the hell is your child going to think when he sees this video? A new promotional image under the cut. NSFW (Possibly)




(I was disappointed to find no visible nipple in this picture.)



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Tv Guide cleans up some Tra$h

My mom read me the most amazing Jeer I've ever heard from TV Guide. The topic? None other than Ke$ha:

Jeers to Ke$ha for her what-up-with-that? performances on Saturday Night Live. The poor man's Lady Gaga tried and failed to turn "Tik Tok," her ode to being a drunken floozy, into a political/artistic statement. Amid a dime-store laser show, she asked "Does anybody ever stop to think that maybe we are the aliens?" That could be the only explanation for her appearance in Lite Brite-like body paint for a ludicrously bizarro rendition of "Your Love Is My Drug." Tik tok, Ke$ha- that's your 15 seconds of fame running out.

More FUCKERY from Christina

It seems lately that most of my posts have been Christina Aguilera related. Well there's good reason. She's giving me so much to rip on. Like the following pics, and another 11 second preview. I give epileptics fair warning. These probably aren't SFW either.



A new 11 second preview of the video (Which premieres Friday on Vevo):



and a few pics (possibly NSFW):









I think people are going to like these for the wrong reason. You can't look at these and say 'Christina sure has artistic talent.'




This post comes to you from ONTD and Just Jared.

Cmon Christina

I get more and more excited for this flop as the video premiere gets closer. The only thing that can save this thing from being a flop is if the video is amazing. But by the looks of it...no. After an 11 second preview, she might not have any epileptic buddies behind her anymore.

Free Music, Anyone?

If anybody likes anything for free, it's me. What's better than anything for free? Music for free. And what's better than that? Good music for free. I recommend downloading "Air Swell" by Chiddy Bang and enjoying it while you go about your business for the day. I promise you won't be disappointed. Happy Friday!!

Before today I didn't know anything about this group but now I'm glad that I do. What can I say about these talented artists? The music reminds me of Kanye West circa College Dropout because the rhymes are just as perfect as the beats. Some of these tracks are most definitely going on a playlist with Lupe, Kid Cudi, and Wale. Check it out for yourself though. It's free, why not?

Body Talk Pt. 1 LEAK

Robyn's Body Talk pt. 1 has leaked in it's entirety. It's no big deal because there's only eight songs, and we've heard four of them already. The only songs we (well, I) haven't heard are Don't Fucking Tell Me What To Do, Cry When You Get Older, Hang With Me [Acoustic], and Jag Vet En Dejlig Rosa. Until now anyway...



I'm not going to provide a link to download it, you'll have to find it yourself. But most of the songs are pretty great, if you like that kind of music. And if you don't, what is wrong with you. Don't Fucking Tell Me What To Do is hilarious, with lyrics like "My drinkings killing me, My smoking is killing me, My diet is killing me, My shopping's killing me..." it's definitely worth a listen. Cry When You Get Older is really great too. Hang With Me [Acoustic] is ok, if you like acoustic music, and Jag Vet En Dejlig Rosa should be skipped unless you know Svenska. If you just said "what is Svenska?" then just skip the song because you don't know. It's also kind of creepy.

Overall, I give this album a 4/5 stars. And if you do manage to get your hands on a copy before June, then congratulations.

Don't Worry Girl, I Gotchu..

I'm going to help Christina Aguilera and her people out and save them some time by doing this (below the jump):



No I don't get any recognition for it, but it gives her and her team more time to pretend that she's the sh*t.

I don't have a source for this because my source is the person who sent me a text to tell me about it but Christina Aguilera's "Not a Stranger Bitch Not Myself Tonight" video is set to premiere on May 1st.

Now if she's got her head up her rear like she did last month, this will be pushed back a couple of times. As a matter of fact, I'll put money on it because despite the fact that she hasn't had anything new in a while she pushes back countdowns like Beyonce or Lady GaGa. (Sidenote: Anybody heard anything about the "Put It In a Love Song" video?)

I'm going to be nice though because if she really thought she was on GaGa's level, she'd have Dick Clark on Times Square with a ball dropping for this premiere and I haven't heard of her doing that yet.

I Vote No...

This is going to be really quick. Like super quick. Like don't blink too hard because you'll be at the end of this post.

My blog baby daddy Lucas thought this was the WTF video of the week but I love @alonzolerone so I have to disagree. This right here, will leave me shaking my head and thinking WTF for the rest of the week.

Wtf Video of the Week

This week's WTF Video of the Week comes from youtube user alonzolerone. It's of course a parody of a scene from Gaga's Telephone video. I must give him props though, this one actually has a girl playing Honey Bey. Video after the jump.





From the looks of it, eating a honey bun like Gaga isn't as easy as one would think.

Mr. Bond...

In an effort to sway our bias away from American pop culture music, here is a post about a movie.



According to this website the 23rd James Bond movie has been suspended indefinitely. Why?

"Due to the continuing uncertainty surrounding the future of MGM and the failure to close a sale of the studio, we have suspended development on 'Bond 23' indefinitely. We do not know when development will resume and do not have a date for the release of 'Bond 23,'"

Apparently MGM is low budget, can't afford to keep itself running, or what have you. Honestly I'm not very sad. The past two Bond movies (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace) haven't really done anything for me. Daniel Craig just isn't Bond material. To me Pierce Brosnan will always be the original James Bond



and that's really only because he reminds me of esteemed Broadway producer Maxwell Sheffield.



It's kind of sad because the Bond franchise is the longest running film series in history.

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What I'm listening to now

A few days ago on Rip The Runway, I caught Estelle performing Freak and ever since it's been stuck in my head. So it's my current listen. Video after the cut






I'm not even going to bother to watch the video all the way through. From the first minute or so I can tell that it's a Missy Elliot level theme. I mean, with that hair Estelle even looks like Missy Misdemeanor.

Really, though, the only part of the song I like is the "I can be a freak" part. Otherwise, no thank you.

More New Robyn!

Are we dead yet? I don't think so. Dancing On My Own, a song from Robyn's Body Talk album has leaked today. I like it.

Top 100s by Year by Bing

It's seven o'clock a.m. and I'm lying in bed and can't sleep. Usually when this happens, I play with my iPod. You guys, I think I've discovered the best music app ever.

Bing has created an app for iPhone and iPod touch users that has the top 100 songs from each year from 1947 to 2009. The name of it is "Top 100s by year by Bing", (ooo so blatant). Get it right now for free!! I'm not sure how long it will be free so hurry and check it out now!! Full description after the jump.

Spin the wheel to choose what year you'd like to hear music from and the app shuffles the top 100 songs for you. You do have the option of skipping past songs you prefer not to listen to. However, the app states to provide all the music at such a low price (right now free, it says the normal price is $1.99), they are required to shuffle the music for you instead of you choosing what you'd like to listen to.

This didn't turn me off one bit. What I did not like about the app is that every now again, well every three or four songs, a Bing app plays and asks you to download the Bing app for your iPhone/iPod touch. It will continue to do this even if you've downloaded the app already. Besides that, no complaints, especially since it was free. I suggest you check it out too, at least while it's still free.

New Robyn Songs

Due out in June, Robyn's new album is shaping up to be something pretty good. Dance Hall Queen showed up online a few months ago, and is nice. Fembot (the full version) was put on her website a week or so ago, and now None of Dem is ready to be listened too. It might take a few times to grow on you, but I love it. You can even record a video of you dancing and upload it to her site for others to see.

Also, these new Robyn songs are available on Amazon.com. What, no iTunes love?

Read more for the latest updates from Iamamiwhoami.



It's been a month or so since any new material from Iamamiwhoami surfaced on the internet. Starting on the 8th, however, we began to see some signs of life from the viral video's creater. As mentioned previously, Tara Busch released a remix of the single 'b', which is now available to download.

Then later that same evening, someone noticed that a new single had appeared on Amazon. The release date for O was scheduled as April 11, 2010. That day came, and we all listened, and realized that O was an edited version of the music from the sixth video. Six minutes and forty seconds long, the guitar sample had disappeared and was instead replaced by more bass, and the distortion on the voice was gone entirely. Fans have since been split over whether or not they love it or hate it.

I hoped for a video, but didn't expect one because after all, it was the same music from the sixth video. Well I wake up this morning to find a new video waiting in my subscriptions. I watch it. And it's amazing. Like usual there's a whole bunch of mystery surrounding it, and no one is sure what it all means.

Here's where the story get's a little more interesting. Number one suspect Jonna Lee has since deleted her Twitter account. This is interesting because she has been known for tweeting clues (or at least what people assume are clues) about her involvement in the video saga. She tweeted eight or so months ago about "being covered in mud for the next two days" and was even bold enough to tweet a picture of a set with a pool filled with murky water, oddly similar to video three. Apparently, thanks to the geniuses at Popjustice we found out that Jonna tweeted something regarding the new video we received today. After the tweet in question was brought up, she hastily deleted her twitter account, leaving behind the message

Love to you all, see you later alligators.

Also, Popjustice users pointed out that this morning around the time that the newest video was uploaded, Tara Busch tweeted a picture of strawberries. If you didn't know, strawberries have been a recurring theme in these videos (See videos three, five, six, and eight).

Hmmm. Curiouser and Curiouser.

More from Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera has been hard at work ever since she released that awful single Not Myself Tonight. Today we have two pictures, each trying a little too hard.






Take it from most everyone on the internet, Christina: You're doing the bionic theme wrong.


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On My iPod...

This should have been done two weeks ago but I have this best friend, Procrastination, and I have to stay loyal to her.

If you have not listened to Erykah Badu's latest, New Amerykah Pt. 2: Return of the Anhk, please do yourself a favor and do so. Now this is one you should not pick up from the flea market or Wal-Mart's parking lot. You have to (HAVE TO) purchase it from iTunes, or Target, or FYE, or actually inside Wal-Mart.

Now I wouldn't be telling you to buy it if it wasn't good. And if anybody knows good music, it's yours truly. It's kind of hard to put Ms. Badu into just one genre but I can definitely call this soul music. She's got a unique sound to her music that I just love. My favorite track right now, well there's two, are "Gone Baby, Don't Be Long" and "Umm Hmm". But I think you should check out the whole thing.

Then there's the "Window Seat" video everyone is talking about. I find it very creative and it's really interesting that it was shot guerrilla-style. I also appreciate the fact that it introduced me to the concept, groupthink. Something we should all take a deeper look at.

Follow Erykah Badu on Twitter @fatbellybella

Benjamin Button Wants to Know Who the Eff Are You?

I know I'm not the only person who checks Facebook and Twitter before I'm in a vertical position for the first time all day. This morning's trending topics on Twitter featured Drake or as I like to call him, Benjamin Button.

So all the hype this morning was because Drake's video for "Over" was released. His first single from his debut album, "Thank Me Later" due to be released in June. He's not one of the artists I'm running to the record store for, I'd rather hit up the bootleg man in Wal-Mart's parking lot.

Honestly, if I had not read this I probably would not have ever understood the song, ever. And while the video does not include Drake standing in milk or making it rain on anyone, I don't think it ties into the song. Or maybe I need to watch it again *kanyeshrug*. Really, I think the "Best I Ever Had" video went better with the song. The song didn't go with the video, maybe that's what's happening here. At least Jimmy is breaking the fourth wall.

Check out the video after the jump!

The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

It's been a while hasn't it? I apologize. I can't promise it won't happen again though, lol.

So this morning I wake up to Chrisette Michele putting the gossip blog I love to hate on blast. You know, the one that rhymes with "In-Di-Go". When I tell you it's so hard to believe anything they post on there, yet I keep going back. It's like that little boy dancing in tights to "Rude Boy", it's so bad but you can't look away.

When I first saw the story on that blog about Chrisette Michele shaving her head bald, I couldn't do anything but shake my hit and hit the little red box with the "X" in it up in the top right hand corner. What better way to find out the truth then hearing it from the horse's mouth! Check out this interview from @afrobella with Miss Chrisette Michele herself on how it really went down!

More on the Viral Videos That No One Follows But Me

It's been more than three weeks since we've seen a new video from Iamamiwhoami. Things everywhere on the internet regarding her have since calmed down. Until today. According to analogsuicide.com (don't judge me, I'm not suicidal, I only found out about that website today) Tara Busch was anonymously contacted via email where she received HQ audio stems for the audio from 'b'. According to her, the only instructions she recieved with the email read "08.04.10". So she did what any producer would do and remixed the audio stems and released it today, the 8th of April, 2010. Normally I would be a little more skeptical of these "anonymous emails", but I'm going to believe that Iamamiwhoami contacted Tara directly, because the vocals in the remix are for the most part undistorted, unlike in the 'b' video. What does this mean? Who knows. I'm just excited for some sort of activity from her.

Here the remix and read more from Tara herself at the Source.

The Boondocks Season 3

I saw this while surfing the interwebs on yesterday. Not exactly what I would call a trailer. More like some clips from the show over a song. However, I'm kind of happy about this. I thought The Boondocks was cancelled because whenever I see it it's an old episode. The third season will be the last season though.

Rihkeshaminaj on Tour

The only thing I could come up with that these three have in common is that they were all in school at one point in their lives.

Lucas: Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, and Kesha are touring together this year.

Quinn: That's the most random group of people I could probably come up with.

Lucas: I just do not understand this combination. Like Bjork, Trey Songz, and Adele.

Quinn: Wale, Elton John, and Backstreet Boys.

Lucas: Lance Bass and Ricky Martin...oh wait...How does Kesha get in contact with someone like Nicki Minaj?

Quinn: You mean how does Nicki Minaj get in contact with Kesha? She sleeps in a tub with one shoe on. I'd put money on it that she thinks Blackberry Messenger is someone who delivers fruit.

Rihanna has announced that her Last Girl on Earth tour will hit the road this summer. Making 25 stops, starting in Seattle on July 2 and ending August 25 in Chicago, RiRi put names in a hat and randomly selected Kesha and Nicki Minaj for her opening acts.

No, seriously, that's the only way this could have happened. I do have to admit though, if this came to my city, I would seriously consider going. I'd make sure I get there right at the end of Nicki's performance and just when Rihanna is about to say "All up on it, know you wanna clone it, ain't like me that chic too phony, ride this beat beat beat like a pony". And I'd rather not see Kesha at all.

Meanwhile...

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****Update****
So up until this point, this post was written prior to Nicki Minaj announcing that she would not be joining Rihanna on tour this summer. So the question is, what random person will the replacement?

Keep It Classy, Ciara

I'm often not shocked at the things that celebrities do. I am however shocked at how not-shocked I was when I saw pics of Ciara on the set for her video ride. All I can say is Keep it classy, Ciara.

Head over to Thisisrnb.com for more shockingly typical Ciara pictures.

Robyn's New Album

Robyn is getting ready to release part one of her new album Body Talk. There was a short advert for the album sleeve uploaded on Vimeo, but the site is having some problems it seems so for the time being I'll leave you with that regular non-moving picture up there.

Popjustice

ETA: Album sleeve advert now uploaded, hit read more to watch.

Body Talk Pt.1 is coming! from Robyn on Vimeo.

Quinn's Going to Put This In A Letter Bomb

It looks like the video for Put It In A Love Song has been delayed...again. Come on, Alicia. You're on your way to becoming a stranger bitch faster than Christina Aguilera.
During an interview with Rap-up.com, Alicia was asked about the video featuring beyonce, in which she replied

Expect it right after my ‘Un-thinkable’ video. It’s kind of nice that I have such a great video and such a great artist in the can.

Looks like Beyonce is getting put on the back burner in favor of Drizzy Drake. Quinn will not be happy.

Read more for ****EDIT by quinny_b****

Really Alicia? I kind of saw this coming when I was in the car the other day and "Unthinkable" came on the radio. I turned it up and cleared my throat to sing along not thinking that this should be "Put It in a Love Song" playing. *sigh* Do you Alicia. I'm not signing your checks.

I'll wait.




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TWOTD

This Tweet of the Day goes to @Freshalina for this tweet:

Wait. Did Keri Hilson's PR people REALLY just send out a release about her "redeeming herself" by singing the national anthem correctly?

In regards to this colossal screw up from the original stranger bitch Keri Hilson.

Wtf Videos of the Week

Today I have two videos for you, in a new category called Wtf Videos of the Week. The first video was sent to me by Quinn. The second video was posted on my wall on Facebook. Read more to see the videos.





Once you get past this ones makeup, she has something to say. And she defends (I think?) Gwen Stefani, so she's got a friend in me. I just wish she would figure out what to do with... that on her face. The best part of the video is actually the comments from other viewers, like this gem from SHAKA5474:

ok this video was made for what reason... your a strawberry Shortcake chick.. ur makeup is garbage.. LMAO please tell me this was for publicity and exposure

Oddly enough, this is what I stumbled upon on my search for a strawberry shortcake girl:



And then there's this.



I knew something was going to be wrong with this video when he said "acapello". As if his own description

I don't think this was a good one. My voice was really I off that the ending I think, whats your opinion. Please as always comment, rate, and subscribe.

wasn't enough. I feel bad for Monica. He destroys her harder than Jennifer Lopez destroyed five seconds of Barbara Streisand

Just Wright

I was surfing the world wide web the other other day and came across the movie trailer for Just Wright. Starring Queen Latifah, Paula Patton, and Common, this will be in a theatre near you May 14th.

This could turn out one of two ways. It could have the predictive plot that most Queen Latifah movies have and sometimes bad acting, but I'm not really worried about that (yes I am *cough*Common*cough*). OR, I could be so hypnotized by seeing Common with his shirt off and Dwyane Wade on the big screen that the $10 for the ticket and $15 for popcorn and drinks will be worth is. Either way, I'm still going to give a chance but not one the weekend because I want the discount ticket price. Check out the trailer below the jump!

iPhone 4.0 OS

Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, I was telling Lucas the other day that I was looking forward to what the new iPhone had to offer. Now I'm excited. Way more excited than I was when Christina Augilera's countdown ended. But that's totally different.

April 8th can't get here fast enough.

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A Message From the Moderator

Please bear with us as I continue to work with the layout on FPC. I hope to have things settled by the end of today (Monday, April 5th 2010) with posting returning to normal later this evening or earlier tomorrow. Thank you for your patience.

Dang Miss Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson. When did this even happen? I cannot process this information. This is an entirely different person altogether. Either way, good for you.


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Madtv Saw This Coming

Tomorrow every apple fanboy is going to shit bricks when they get their hands on the iPad, also known as the biggest gimmick ever. I'm not gonna lie, though, if someone gave me an iPad, I would love it. Whenever I see anything that relates to the iPad, I will think of this:

"Make A Move"

This is what I have on repeat right now. THIS IS WHAT I WANT!! I do have to admit I stop playing it every once in a while to listen to some Erykah Badu but mostly this.

Candy is one of the co-hosts from my favorite Youtube show, SweetAddictionsTV, mmmhmmm. This song is the one used for the intro to their videos so I've been hooked on the first 30 seconds of it. Last week though, Candy's single "Make A Move" was released on iTunes (support your girl, only 99 cents!).

Hot beat, nice lyrics, most definitely a dance track and one of those songs that makes you just feel good! "Don't be scared", buy this, I promise you won't be disappointed.

April Fool's!!

Yesterday the internet was buzzing with pranks for April Fool's Day of course. Gmail was missing some vowels, Google announced it was changing it's name to Topeka, and a certain gossip blog (that rhymes with "them bee toe" had a few posts as pranks up.

OK so that last one wasn't true. I find it hard to take a lot of their posts serious that's why I threw that in there. Now that's not many but those are all of the ones I saw, except my favorite. Check it out below the jump!

Bieber Takes Over from Justin Bieber

At first I was like this is lame. Why is he trying to lower his voice, this kid sounds like a douchebag. Then he said he autographs lady lumps and I'm like OK JB got a little Nicki Minaj in him. But still not entertaining. THEN he did the joke about Chuck E. Cheese and said "Now who's old enough, BITCH?!" and I understood why girls cry over him and get all excited and all that good stuff.